Tales of daily life from a 20-something Student from London.

Monday, 5 September 2011

University 'Characters' Part 1

Ok, so being as people are going to be starting uni/returning to it this month, I thought I'll write something about some of the total douches you're bound to meet during your time away from home...

The Phantom Flatmate

There are 6 rooms in your flat. It's two weeks into your first term and you've met 4 of your flatmates. You know someone is in room 6. You hear them stirring, late at night, rooting through the cupboards, listening to their tunes in the early hours when you have a 9am lecture. They never bring buddies back, never seem to cook at sensible times, never leave that room. But you have never seen them. And you never will.

The Borderline Alcoholic 

"Don't be a pussy, come on, let's go!"
It's a Tuesday evening. You have an assignment in for 9am Wednesday. It's drum and bass night, and neither of you enjoy drum and bass. But he is persistent. You both have to go out and get absolutely destroyed, or you will be forever mocked. Forever destined to suffer a night of taking care of your buddy and being his wingman, you swear never to commit to this again as you drag him in at 4am. Wednesday evening comes. 
"I owe you a drink from last night, pal!"

The 'tries real hard to be different' guy

We're not talking indie kids. Or goths. Or even those douchebag chino-wearers who wear snap-backs emblazoned with a basketball team they've never heard of. I mean that guy who wears something or does something that makes him so desperate to be different. The guy who wears a trilby WHEREVER he goes. The guy who eats the weirdest combinations of food just to get a response from flat mates. The fat guy that awkwardly mentions how fat he is, whilst reading through the Domino's menu. You will encounter him and instantly know you never want to be friends with him. 

Over and out.