No, not the pretentious rock band, but something new to write about. If you read this blog regularly, you'll have noticed my average posting schedule was every few days. And recently, I've had trouble sticking to that. Which is totally my bad. But also the fault of the world. So here is a bumper blog of all the things I've been building up to talk about over the past week.
If any of you work in clothing retail, you'll understand the joy of changing rooms. A guy brings in a t-shirt we all know won't fit and professes 'I'm a medium though!', when in reality he was a medium two months ago before he discovered a deep love of KFC, Mountain Dew, and liquidised fat. Then we have to go and get them the size up. Or maybe two sizes up. When working the changing rooms at work, I like to keep them quite tidy, so I often go around and open all the curtains to ensure nobody has left a hanger, t-shirt, ripped-off-a-tee security tag, or something else of the sort around. Only, last week, they hadn't left anything in there as such...being as they were still in there.
I ripped open the curtain to find a slightly chubby Asian lad trying on a pair of jeans, where he was in the mid-way point of taking one pair off and re-applying the new pair.
(Basically, he was naked)
I was so shocked that I paused before closing the curtain only to hear him cry "...can you get me a size up" shortly after. I returned with some larger jeans and we never saw eye to eye after that. Eye to bum only. Oh dear.
Ok, this was definitely a necessary talking point, so haterz of the beautiful game, scroll down now. In particular, I want to discuss the idea of Fantasy Football.
And the crudest team names possible.
Here are some favourites I've heard over the past week, and the teams they represent:
Fritzl Palace (Crystal Palace)
Raul Moatdrid (Real Madrid)
Werder Breivik (Werder Bremen)
Inter Me Nan (Inter Milan)
and my personal fave
Real Betty's Hotpot (Real Betis)
If you here any gems, let me know!
They're bad. They're evil. As far as bad stuff is concerned that's as far as I'll go. But good stuff? Seeing the people of London come together to clean-up and fight off the hoodlums? Great stuff. People on Green Street were apparently holding off attackers this morning, all banding together to protect what they believe in. And they succeeded. It shows how people can be strong when in the face of danger, which is something we all need now.
It's still worrying though. But, unlike every other shop in Romford this evening, Superdry didn't close. Apparently they were worried, but not enough to close. Instead they sent along a man who looked like Bubba from Forrest Gump and had a broken foot. Really instils confidence in you.
Over and out.