If you know me, which I presume the majority of people reading this do, you'll know I enjoy a fair rant. I decided I'd stay away from complaining at the tribulations of everyday life when I started this but something really bugged me on a shopping trip during the week: the shops.
I'm presuming most of you have been to Bluewater, or at least know of it, but for those who don't, it's a huge shopping centre in the heart of preppy Kent. Naturally, this results in expensive shops full of people wearing jumpers hung lifelessly around necks, and Ralph Lauren polos (not that I'm some sort of anti-Kent terrorist here. I have a lot of family there, and a good friend of mine from uni, James Taylor, who is probably reading this now, is a lovely guy!). When it comes to shopping, I'm pretty old fashioned. I like to have a good old browse and find something I'm really into before comitting any cash to the pot. However, I found that most of the t-shirts in Topman were, simply put, some of the most unamusing shit I have ever had to endure.
That's not funny. It tries to be. When I was 14, I MAY have found that worth a slight titter. Even a smirk if I was in a good mood. But at 14, no way would I have even considered spending £14 on that tripe. I had more important things to buy...like... well, I don't know quite what, most of my money now is spent on alcohol and I can't remember a time when that wasn't the case. People will still buy this in it's tonnes because it's from Topman, but for me? No thanks. I mean, for an extra £6 I could've got a t-shirt with Kurt Cobain on it and 'KURT' written in big letters underneath, clearly detailing for anyone unsure that this was Kurt Cobain, but I was worried people wouldn't know who it was and just thought I had a random Kurt, or maybe even Kurt Angle of WWF fame dressed in full rocker outfit, on my t-shirt. Sarcasm doesn't come across well here, does it?
Another shop that's definitely worth talking about is Hollister. Until Wednesday, I had never set foot in the shop. I knew all about their strange marketing technique but I could never see myself wearing their stuff so why should I delve in. Myself, Sam Brown, and Sam Ham decided we would venture in. Purely for purposes of 'lol' of course. The three of us then decided this was incredibly stressful. Thrown into a dark maze full of t-shirts (they were fairly reasonably priced as it goes, so check it out if it's your scene) and some incredibly attractive girls leaves a man with little to no choice but to continue battling round to find the exit. Having these unobtainable sirens smiling at you is more tense than it sounds, especially when a particular 'well attired' girl came around the corner flaunting more than just the denim section. We were like sheep caught in the headlights as we strolled around what I can only describe as a Ghost Train where the ghosts were swapped for girls in tight t-shirts. I think even the bravest of men would struggle to keep a level head in this warzone of tension.
Overall, shopping for clothes nowadays is more stressful than it sounds. Stuff is expensive, unfunny, draped in other worries like stress, and even when you do find good stuff, one of your best friends already owns it. I'm looking at you Ham.
I think i'll stick to asos next time.
Over and out